Date First Written: June 2013; Date Last Updated: February 2016
What Being A Phytanthrope Is To Me
Basic Definition Of Phytanthropy
So what is phytanthropy? The bare and basic definition is that it is a state of identifying as a plant on an integral and personal level. A state of being where a person strongly identifies as a plant species in some way. Someone who experiences such a state is called a phytanthrope or plantkin depending on what term the individual prefers to use on their own identity. However this definition, is stark and is merely the outward appearance of this kind of species identification brings with it for the likes such as myself.
In-depth Definition Of Phytanthropy
I am a southern live oak phytanthrope. I am, feel, and believe that I am a southern live oak an integral and personal level. I am, feel, and believe that I am an oak in spirit and mind. This self-identification is a long-term and constant feeling of being nonhuman somehow. I feel that I am an oak some degree (non-physically). This is the state of my identity and my sense of self. I’ve identified this way sense childhood and I see myself as still identifying this way into the foreseeable future. So, for all of my 20+ years of life, I've seen and felt this way to the best I can remember. The way I experience and perceive the world has lead me to consider myself an oak in identity. It's something which persists even after evaluating my experiences and trying to come to other possible conclusions. Something that is always there on some level on a daily basis. Yes it is strange that, regardless of my human body, I identify as a species of tree; yet, I can’t help but see myself as a tree. I know I am human, but I do not personally see myself as such on a non-physical manner of being. I know my body is human but my body image, my idea of myself, and so on - it's not human. I do concede that I am human in body, that I have no illusion whatsoever. I simply feel that I am a plant in a non-physical way. That is what phytanthropy boiled down to. Identity. This identity of mine affects much of my daily life and experiences. Things like sensations, thoughts, and a number of other things going on within the mind of the individual. Yet it all ends up combining into an identity that says this what they are even if it does not match with the body at all.
Like other kinds of otherkin (such as therians among others), I experience things along the lines of phantom sensations of nonhuman characteristics (in my case features such as roots, bark, stems/branches, etc), mindsets and viewpoints that are attributed to certain nonhuman species (in my case thoughts one might associate with being plant-like), having dreams about being or related closely to a nonhuman identity, dysphoria over aspects of the human body and feeling aspects of another species (in my case southern live oak) to being more appropriate, a persistent feeling of being a nonhuman species, etc. The only real differences between plant-identified people and nonhuman-identified people in general is the plant focus rather than another kind of nonhuman creature. That is my identity in a nutshell.
Where The Terms Came From
Plantkin is a portmanteau of “plant” and “otherkin” and thus is constructed the same way as many other subsets of otherkin such as angelkin and faekin have been coined. (The word otherkin itself is a portmanteau of the words “other” and “kin[d].”) The term plantkin came about back in 2003 (along with term “greenkin” to mean the same thing). Phytanthropy comes from the Greek word phyton meaning “plant” and the Greek word anthropoe meaning “human/man.” The term is not an old one as far as I am aware. I coined the term for myself in February 2013 on the therian forum, Werelist. It is a term constructed similar to the term therianthropy which comes from the Greek words for beast and human. Due to being active in the therian community, phytanthrope is what I use primarily for myself, but will use plantkin on occasion. Other terms which I have heard other plant-identified people use over the years include weretree, greenkin, and woodkin though I’ve never used any of these terms myself. Nevertheless to use an ironically adequate, if not generally overused quote, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Regardless of what terms I use, I am a person who identifies as a plant.
My Cause
Primarily, I see the cause of my identity and experiences to be spiritual in their origin yet also feel that there are psychological and perhaps even neurological components at work within me as well. I also can easily entertain the possibility that spiritual causes are not the main cause of my phytanthropy at all and it is mainly psychological and/or neurological in cause. After all, while I do tend to have a spiritual outlook to my identity and my experiences I am not opposed to the idea of there being more of a psychological and/or neurological basis for my identity and experiences than I perceive it to be. However, my natural viewpoint is of a spiritual nature, whether that be the actual cause or not. I feel that my soul is that of an oak as much as a soul can have a species. I also believe I was an oak in a past life, and that past life still effects me today by way of my soul still being inclined to the nature of being an oak. Whether it is spiritual, psychological, neurological and/or something other than those, it does not change what I feel and how I live now. In the grant scheme of things, I do not feel that the cause of my phytanthropy is that important to me now. How my phytanthropy effects me in present day to day life is more important. This is how I am personally and whatever happened to cause my identification as an oak has happened and is in the past.
I Know I Am Human
I know very well that I am human. I know all too well that I am actually perfectly, without a shred of doubt, physically human. I am constantly reminded of that fact. I certainly have no illusions of having actual roots, leaves, bark and all of the sort. Yet, that does not stop me from being this way. Identity and body image need not does not inhibit the personal perception and feelings I have that makes me feel not as human personally. The weight of that reality does not change the fact that I do not personally feel human. How I see myself, how I feel - isn’t limited to the physical reality of my body. Since I can remember I have told myself that I human while trying to suppress the feelings about my species identity, but it has never worked. Reminding myself I am human physically has not swayed this uncontrollable and unyielding feeling in me that tells me something else is the case non-physically. Identity does not always adhere to what is physically and externally the case. I know I am human, I just don’t identify as such personally. I know what I am externally and within myself and know they differ.
Not Separate From Myself
Phytanthropy is not caused by any external force. It is not "totemism," some sort of spirit possession, or anything of the sort. I do not refer to my species identity as a separate being because it is not so. My phytanthropy is not something that is separate from me. An oak is what I am, and I am an oak. This is not something like having a spirit guide, a totem, or anything else where there is an external entity involved. I do not feel like my being a plant is anything external. I do not feel like I'm being guided by a spirit or being contacted by an external force or being which has a tree nature. No. This is me. This is my identity. I am the one who feels this way. These are my experiences. I am the one experiencing phytanthropy. It is I who does not identify as human (in a non-physical level). It is on me. This identification is a part of me, not apart from me. This is not a separate entity either outside of me or within me, it is just me. I am a person who sees myself as an oak.
The word “connection” or simply “identification with” also does not adequately describe my experiences. People can have connections with many things yet not actually identify as it. Not actually be it, in a sense. Many people can really identify with something or someone yet not actually identify as it. A fair number of pagans or nature-centered spiritual people might connect with plants, but that is not the same as them actually feeling as though they are a plant in some internal and personal manner. That is what phytanthropy is. I do not simply connect with plants. I identify as one in a non-physical way.
Lack Of Terms Of Being Plant-like
One difficultly with describing phyanthropy is that the English language lacks many words which relate to the nature of being like a plant. In absence of words, I’ve come to coin my own words over time. First there is the word, “plantity” which means to have a quality or nature associated with plants. Another is “plantistic” which means of, relating to, or resembling an plant or plants.
Defining Planity
Phytanthropy is plantity. Plant-people. Plants do not think, they simply do. Plants grow their roots down into the Earth and the branches up toward the Sun. Plants take in sunlight in their leaves and nutrients through their roots. That in essence is what plantity means. It's being straightforward in existence. The plantistic part of my brain is very simple, limited in lofty and critical thought. It's all about present. It's being Earth bound, present bound. Centered in the physical, and beyond the complexities of higher thinking. In this state, things like language, culture, and history are beyond thought. It's about here and now. The world and reaction to it. Plantity is primal. It is uncivilized and uncultured. Its wild and being part of that wild. It's the deepest, most basic, most intuitive and innate natures and needs brought forth. It is the core which drives them in response to the world around them. That plantity is expressed through the human body, intellect, and how one responds to the world. Phytanthropy is plantity. It is a state of being.
My Childhood
For as long as I can remember anything at all, I haven’t quite felt human and instead I have identified as an oak. I never went through what some in the otherkin communities call an “awakening.” I did not find myself coming to the sudden conclusion that I as nonhuman in some way and that someway was specially of an oak nature. It wasn’t even a gradual experience over years either. No. For me, I cannot remember a time when I did not feel this way. I simply have always saw myself as an oak since at least my childhood years, and it is an identification which has continued to exist. I honestly cannot remember a time when I did not identify this way even if words to describe it where beyond me. I might not have had a term to describe my experiences and my feelings, but they were still there. Throughout my childhood it was a conclusion based on what was being felt and thought. I grappled with ways to describe it at first, but as I got older it became easier and my way of describing how I felt became more in-depth. I struggled with trying to understand why and questioned my sanity a lot growing up. I wondered why I both felt a connection to trees and felt like I was in some way one of "their kind" so to speak. I did not have to concern myself during my teenage years with doubts of it being a passing phase due it already being an on-going identification. Instead, I only mused over how I could be this way and why I was this way. Now that I am well into my adult years, the concept of doubt isn’t even something that crosses my mind really. So, to the best of my earliest memories I had always felt like an oak (and see myself still feeling so into the foreseeable future). The only discovery that occurred related to my identity was discovering I was not alone in not feeling nonhuman and discovering words to describe my identification as nonhuman. That discovery took some time.
Discovering The Community
I discovered the term “were” first back in the early 2000s in due credit to a documentary which interviewed someone who identified as a coyote. "Were" being the alternative to the term therian at the time the documentary was created. Finding the term and hearing someone else talking about their experiences affirmed that there were people who also felt like they were some non-human species. Yet, they were only animals that I saw being talked about. A few years later, in 2006, I discovered the term therian as well. Then a short time later, finally, I discovered the term plantkin. From then on I began to find words to describe my experiences and where I could not find adequate words, I coined a few of my own over the years. I would later choose the term phytanthrope for myself rather than plantkin.
Not a Choice
Being a phytanthrope is not something can be turned on and off. It's not a choice to identify this way. Either someone identifies as a plant, or they do not. It's there, whether someone wants to be there or not. It's just a fact of how one identifies. This is how I identify. It's just there. This is an innate and unwavering understanding that I am somehow a plant. It does not disappear when suddenly having the identity or feeling this way is inconvenient. It's there no matter what. Experiencing the things I attribute to being a phytanthrope (my phantom sensations, my dysphoria, etc) are also not a choice. (Honestly, I would be ecstatic if I could choose when and where I had such experiences.) I connect just push aside or ignore my phytanthropy. It is not something I have chosen. It's not something I would have chosen, honestly. The only thing which was a choice was what I called my experiences. Deciding what labels fit me and choosing which to use or not. I could not simply stop my identification nor stop my experiences. They are there whether I accept them or not. Denying myself and my feelings would be a losing battle. I've tried it several times over the decades now. I cannot simply ignore and suppress the constant feeling that my body should be one way yet it is another. I cannot ignore the thoughts in my mind telling me I should have the traits of a tree. Dissociating from the bizarre dysphoria does not make it go away.
Species Dysphoria
Species dysphoria is when someone experience a feeling of discontent, discomfort, discontentment, restlessness, dissatisfaction, depression, and/or anxiety over their species. A feeling that one's body is of the wrong species. My personal species dysphoria is a constant feeling. There is always this feeling, this constant prodding in my head that screams that this isn’t right. This is not what an oak does. A vine of thought growing through me saying this action is strange. Some days it is more there than others. Sometimes I just randomly go through a phase of greater dysphoria and sometimes something sets it off. Even things such as eating and speaking can trigger the dysphoria that much more. Sometimes it can be as mundane as walking. I think twice and feel out-of-place in my body and my surroundings. My phantom roots often does not help ease the sense of discomfort and strangeness of it all. The simplest of things can cause it come swelling up. Sometimes it happens if I think too much about the fact I identify as one thing but am another. If I think to much about it, the feeling creeps up even stronger. The mental weight bares down harder. Going day to day in an ill-fitting body. There are many things which I enjoy which I could not do so if I was not human; if I was actually an oak. I do enjoy so much about my life. That, however, does not mean the dysphoria is not there. The dysphoria does not simply go away. Sometimes it gets so bad I want to shed my humanity and be an oak, even if that means giving up my sentiency and ability to move. Sometimes I just wish so dearly I could feel right in my body for once somehow. I take care of my human body, yet at the same time I do not care for it all. I live in the body I have, but that does not mean it is a “home,” so to speak. This body is not me. Being an oak, yet not being an oak physically; being physically human, yet not being a human truthfully. That is species dysphoria in a sense. I manage the worse days and the better ones.
My Functionality
My experiences as a phytanthrope does not hinder my functionality. My dysphoria related to my species does cause me some distress emotionally and mentality, yes; however, my phytanthropy as a whole does not impair my social skills, occupational skills, or other important areas of functioning in daily life. I do not consider my phytanthropy itself a disorder. My species dysphoria does cause issues in my life, but my species dysphoria is only a small part my experiences which relates to my being a phytanthrope. I am able to hold down a job, pay my bills, keep up a healthy social life, and overall function well in society. My identifying as a southern live hinders none of that. Further, there is no treatment known for species dysphoria due it only being mentioned in passing here and there in academia with no in-depth studies on it yet let alone ways of managing it professionally. The mental health professionals our multiple system has talked to do not find our species identities disorderly, and due to lack of research on treating and/or managing species dysphoria they can only give so much advise. Regardless of my species dysphoria and having to deal with it on my own I am still a functional and responsible adult. I am dealing with and managing my species dysphoria as best I can as that is all that I can do. Yes, I have had to adjust to certain things, but it has not hindered me from leading a productive life. Being a phytanthrope does not separate me from human society. I know I am physically human and I know that I must live and act human. Knowing that, accepting that, living that, doesn't stop what does on within me, how I feel, what I feel though.
I Don’t See Myself as Human
I can’t imagine myself as human when I think of how I see me. I am acutely aware of my physical appearance, but my physical appearance is not what comes to my mind when I think of how I personally see and think of myself. When I think of how I see my self-image, it is not of a human at all. When I think of how I see myself, I simply see a tree, and specifically a southern live oak. It's a little difficult to explain having a self image other then how open body looks to someone whose body image matches their body. It's hard to explain how it is to have a feeling of seeing yourself differently than how one is, and even harder to explain when that self-image being an oak of all things. My self-image, how I see/think of myself - isn't human and it never has been.
Figuring Out My Species
Figuring out my exact species was done through paying attention my self-image, how I appeared in our multiple system’s innerworld, the shape of my phantom body, the things my species dysphoria point toward, my form in many dreams over my life, etc to use as reference. Different species of tree have different traits such as the shape of their leaves among others. To come to my conclusion, I used how I felt and what I experienced. These experiences over my life up until now are what helps affirm my species identity time and time again.
In my earliest memories I already knew that I identified as a tree of some sort. The images in my mind and the feelings I had said “tree” very strongly even when still a child. A thick truck and many sturdy roots and branches. Having broad-leaves as phantom sensations and so on scratched several kinds of trees off the list (such as conifers) fairly easily early on. By at least the age of 12 I knew I identified as specifically as some kind of oak. I had noticed I experienced things which pointed to the germination of acorns, but still wasn’t sure down to an exact species. I was also just drawn to oaks due to a feeling of “I am one of them” to an extent. Sadly beyond those reasons I’ve forgotten what originally brought me to the relations of being an oak compared to another kind of tree. One of the hazards of something happening so many years ago, is that thoughts and reasoning back then have faded from memory. So I can no longer recall the details from back then.
Then when we were 14, our multiple system went on vacation with family in San Antonio, Texas. One of the places we went to included a Spanish mission near the city that had been turned into a national historical park. On the grounds of the site was a large southern live oak. Chancing across that old oak allowed me a chance to compare traits in a way I hadn’t been excepting or really looking for at that point in my life. I hadn’t been excepting to come across a real life oak which would help me narrow down my identity from “some kind of oak” to (in time) an exact species of oak. Yet there I was, noticing similarities between a real-life tree and the traits distinguished in my experiences. My image as an oak was smaller than the southern live oak I had come across, which makes sense given how old they were.
After meeting that oak and returning home I began to read more about different kinds of oak. From there I noticed a very telling trait among some species of oak which confirmed to me that I was on the right path. Some oaks are “evergreen,” never losing their leaves annually like other oaks and many other broad-leaf trees. This was well matched by my experiences as I had never experienced or felt any sort of hibernation or slowing down during the colder and darker period of the year. I never lost any feeling of phantom leaves even during that time, and my mental image of myself never changed around the time. I was an oak which was “evergreen.” This lead me to conclude I was indeed some kind of live oak at the very least if not a southern live oak. However after confirming that I narrowed down once again on southern live oaks. Remembering what I could of seeing the southern live oak in real-life as well as reading about them and their traits. So by around the age of 16, I considered my species identity to be that of a southern live oak.
My Appearance As a Tree
As I've mentioned several times already, I have a very specific image of how I view myself due to having a body within our system's innerworld as well as just having a mental image of how I see myself in my own mind. My height from ground to my crown is about 40 to 50 feet. The spread of my limbs is about 90 feet all around. My truck has the circumstance of about 10 feet. My truck quickly splits into several boughs which spread outward far more then they rise upward, as they remain relatively low to the ground. Some even come even closer to the ground. The branches coming off my boughs are countless and go in every which direction. My leaves are broad and roughly oval in shape. My root system is very spread out and deep. This is how I appear in our system's innerworld, how I see myself in my mind's eye, and so on. These traits match the species southern live oak.
No Shifts Constant Experiences
As I have mentioned here and there thus far, I experience various things on a regular basis in my daily life which relate back to my species identity. My species identity effects and influences me in various unconscious and uncountable ways. As I’ve said before, my experiences are constant daily life for me. My phytanthropy is always there. The term "shifting" in the otherkin communities denotes any change in how an otherkin feels, thinks, or otherwise experiences themselves and the world around them, going from a more human-like state to an nonhuman-like one in some sense. Certain shifts include changes in one’s mentality, perception, or behavior (mental shifts), and changes in how one feels their own body by way of what is and is not there (phantom shifts), among kinds of shift. Some otherkin experience their nonhuman identity at certain period of time which can last at any given length depending upon the individual, while others do not experience shifts at all. Some simply experience their nonhuman identity constantly rather than at certain times. I do not experience what are commonly referred to as “shifts” at all. Instead, my experiences are of a constant nature. I do not experience any changes such as what the term shifting denotes in the therian community. My identity and my mentality is a daily experience for me down to every moment of the day. Mentality and phantom limbs do not come and go for me. Instead, they are a constant fixture of my life. They do not come and go. There isn’t even any fluctuations to it. The intensity of my “plantity” doesn’t intensify or diminish in any way throughout daily life. It just is. It is an unchanging aspect of my mentality and my perceptions. My mental state has a constant air of plantity to it, or at least there is a constant trend of what I personally describe as such persisting in my thoughts and inclinations. This is how my mind naturally is for me with my phytanthropy constantly there and effecting me. So I don’t feel “less tree-like” sometimes and other times feel “more tree-like.” So, I am like a contherianthrope but instead of being a therian I am a phytanthrope.
Mentality
The mentality that I have which I relate to being a phytanthrope is interesting to attempt to describe. When people think of plants they do not often think of them as having behaviors. (The use of the word “behavior” when discussing how plants react to the world around them is debatable, but as I am human physically I certainly do have behaviors and thus will be using the word to describe myself.) Many people do not even consider the idea of a plant actively doing much of anything. Plants do not act like animals because they are not animals; however they do react to the world around them in their own ways. It's easy to observe animals; however, plants react on a much slower scale and in less obvious ways. There has been much research into how plant-life live and react to the world around them, yet still the nature of plants is still being uncovered by science. This leaves myself in an interesting position.
I am human, yet I identify as something fundamentally very different from human. I identify as a tree, but I cannot literally act and “think” like a tree anymore than a slug therian can literally act and “think” like a slug. So the behaviors, thoughts, and the like which we have that we attribute to our species identity is what our brain have associated with that mindset. We interpret our behaviors, thoughts, and so on that we to what certain species do and how they act. How I act as a person is “read” as being tree-like as far as my mind is concerned. I identify as a phytanthrope because my mind interprets my very existence and experiences as such. Certain aspects of my thoughts and reactions are interpreted a certain way and this interpretation is further bolstered by what information I gain about trees and certainly southern live oaks specifically. So this is how I as a phytanthropy can have a certain mentality that I can’t help but see as tree-like.
One thing I often associate with my phytanthropy is that I tend to go through life finding certain common human assumptions and concepts to be alien, if not even almost silly to me. A lot of human concepts don’t make sense to me. Even though I am now well into my adulthood, there are still certain things about the mindset of society in general which I do not hold to an extent or don't come naturally to me. It's just a simple matter of fact that many human concepts and emotions have always tended to make little to no sense to me. For example, I don't underhand the concept money personally. I mean, I understand it on a knowledge level and how to properly handle my own finances, yet I don't quiet grasp the importance of having it just to have it. I take good care of my personal finances because I need it to survive, but I lack a desire to own things just for owning sake. That is how many things are for me. I know the concept of economics and so on well (enough to function quiet comfortably).
Another thing which doesn't come to me naturally is that a number of quirks of human behavior in factual expressions do not occur instinctively to me. Not in a society awkward way (least not that I am aware of or anyone has ever brought up anyway) it's just that many factual expressions just don’t naturally come to me. So a fair amount of time my face is perfectly relaxed no matter what my mood is. Sometimes I think this makes me come off cold and unattached to others until they get to know me. Plus, this can sometimes lead to people being unsure of my mood. I also don’t look people in the eye or even at them in general when speaking to them. It just does come naturally to look straight at people for long, and I actually tend to avoid eye contact all together much of the time. This sometimes leads to people mistaking my mood even more if they are not familiar of me. So sometimes people think I am angry when I‘m actually perfectly happy or people thinking I‘m not listening when I am actually being very attentive to what they are saying. I just don’t naturally smile when I am actually very happy or even frown when I am sad. My natural expression is more of a resting and neutral face no matter what I am thinking or feeling. Body language as far as posture and gestures are also not very instinctive for me, though it is not nearly as greatly effected as how factual expressions is affected. I have had to teach myself how to better read people, due to it being something I could not read properly or at all growing up.
The ability to speak also boggles me. Speech itself sometimes feels odd to me. In the best of times, speaking itself can sometimes give me pause - a moment of my identification as an oak conflicting with my human body leading to a curious passing feeling at times or a bit of dysphoria at other times. It's really fascinating really the nature of being able to use language. It doesn't seem most people stop and think about, yet I do fairly often. However, other times speaking seems unusual and too alien for me.
Similar to my odd feelings at times around speaking, this alien-ness also affect how I experiences my senses. Trees do not have senses such as sight, hearing, and so on obviously. Plants lack such ways of sensing the world around them. This makes my experiences with having these and other senses unusual for me in relation to my phytanthropy. My own senses feel somewhat foreign to me in a way. To an extent, experiencing hearing, sight, smell, and taste can be rather strange and overwhelming at times. Sometimes I do not know what to think of or do with these experiences coming in to my mind. I will suddenly find myself thinking of how amazing it is to see, or find myself finding the ability to smell newly overwhelming. My mind will suddenly focus on a sense and compare the reality of my body to what is in my mind, catching me off guard. Sometimes this leads to me feel overwhelmed by things around me. Loud noises, bright lights, or other sudden or extreme sensations coming in will be too much for me a lot of the time, and I prefer to avoid things of that nature as best I can.
Throughout the whole life a tree, they do not move from their place. (Least not without outside forces moving them anyway.) The ability to wander is something animals (well most animals) have at their disposal. For a tree, the part of them that move on their own are their roots and the branches as they grow, which happens very slowly. Yet, here I am identifying as a tree even though I am human and have the ability to move about of my own free will. Due to this disparity, my species identity effects how I react to my innate ability to move about. Motion is hardwired into the human body. It hardly requires any conscious thought at all. This has always astounded me personally in a way. Sometimes I find the very act of moving very foreign even, and not just in one way verses another. It matters not if it is upright on two legs, swimming, climbing, or walking on all fours - none of it feels wholly natural to my mind. The idea of movement, not to mention the existence of moveable at will limbs at all sometimes comes across as confusing and alien despite using the body and its limbs accordingly since birth many years ago. It simply is to me deep down. Externally I act normal but internally my thoughts are reacting to it as if it were not normal. My body can and will react normally even if my thoughts are feeling out of place. These feelings simply play out in my mind.
Unsurprisingly based on how physical motion feels odd to me, I am quite the homebody. I do not see this preference of mine as being actually connected to my phytanthropy, but it does seem to ironically compliment it in a strange way. I don’t care for traveling as it breaks to me out of a daily route which I enjoy. I have also had little desire to wander far in where I live over my life thus far. I have lived in the same city as I was born into all my life and every place I have lived thus far fits within a 5 mile radius of each other. I simply have little to no desire to leave my familiar surroundings. I enjoy the consistency and familiarity that living in one place provides. I am not a wanderer nor am I someone that loves to travel. I don't quite understand the draw some people have toward adventure. That is just me, and it seems to compliment my phytanthropy ironically enough or not.
It seems so stereotypical, but yet I do have certain inclination in relation to the earth. I do what I can to keep my feet on the ground. I simply feel better having at least one if not both my feet firmly resting on solid ground. If I am sitting in a chair, I prefer to have my feet be able to touch the floor. Even while laying in bed, it's not uncommon for me to sleep with one of my legs off the bed and touching the floor ( less its chilly). I have these thoughts and do these things without thinking about them. So these feelings translates into a compulsion to want to be near the ground for comfort sake. It's just a simple quirk I have which I relate to my phytanthropy.
Another thing which seems so stereotypical yet is the case for me is how I react to and am drawn to light. What I can best describe as my instincts crave for the light. It's hard to describe how I feel exactly about my reaction to sunlight. I enjoy being out during the day and that is when I find myself most active. I’ve never been a night person or one to stay up late into the night. It's just a little quirk of mine that I connect to my phytanthropy.
It would be erroneous to say that my phytanthropy was connected to any instinct or inclination toward the act of eating. At least, not connected to the literal act of eating anyway. Unlike therians who sometimes have some instinct toward hunting or grazing, oaks do not eat. A plant's means of obtaining energy to sustain life is a different system than that of animals. Oaks obtain their "food" from sunlight coupled with the water and other nutrients from the soil. That system of obtaining energy doesn't translate well into something the human mind can mimic in some fashion due to identifications as that species. The only real proper connection between my phytanthropy and our system's body's need food is what my phantom sensations do when our body is hungry. When our body is hungry my phantom roots tend to “grow more” than unusual and my phantom branches tend to be more noticeably there in my awareness of them. This makes sense to me as its through their roots and branches that oaks get energy. Feeling my phantom limbs so strongly seems to be the closest thing my mind can come up with in connecting a human need with how plants act (sort of). After all, plants do not just randomly grow. Their roots seek out water and nutrients, growing more where there is the most pay-off and not wasting as much energy where there is none found. Their branches will grow up and around toward the sun, seeking out where light can be found. Like an animal foraging for food, a trees roots will grow outward in search for nutrients but once nutrients are found the root will stop growing as quickly to take in the nutrients. Only once the source has been take in, will the root pick back its pace. So perhaps how my mind handles my phantom limbs is an attempt to copy that as best can manage.
I'm sure there are more examples, but they allude me. I often can't find the words to describe what I think or feel. I guess that's another example of my mentality seems to work as well as something I tend to connect to my phytanthropy. My phytanthropy is based around feelings and experiences which are often hard to put into words. My identification and experiences tends to seem to defy normal words and thoughts. These are just a few examples of things that are a part of my phytanthropy which I relate to my phytanthropy.
Phantom Limbs
A fairly common experience among people who do not identify as human is the presence of feeling limbs or other traits on the body which are not actually there at all. It's something neurological more than likely, given how studies show how easily the brain can be tricked into sensing and feeling things which aren’t there and never were, such as the rubber hand illusion making everyday people quickly come to feel a fake arm as their own. Though some spiritual inclined otherkin might see it as being caused somehow by the shape of their aura or soul. As far as I think when it come to my experiences, I feel that its likely my identification has convinced my brain that there are parts of my body that exist even if in reality they do not exist in the flesh. So I think that before I was even in pre-teens, my brain adopted features which are associated with trees into my body schema, leading me to involuntary feel traits on my body that are not there.
Feeling phantom sensations upon my body is a daily experience for me. They are there no matter what the circumstance and no matter how much they might hinder me. Whether it is at work, relaxing at home, or any place else - they are ever present. They are even there whether I consciously think about them or not. From my working moments until sleep takes me I am stuck with them. I know that they are not physically there and cannot see them, but I feel them nonetheless. I have experienced them ever since I can remember. They have stuck around for years and years, and so I highly suspect I will be stuck with them for years to come at the very least.
As an southern live oak phytanthrope, my phantom roots are my most notable experiences as far as my phantom experiences. When standing or sitting with my feet on or near the ground, my phantom roots are based from my feet. When laying down or sitting with my feet mostly level with my butt, my phantom roots are based from my tailbone. As they are constantly there, they have to move somehow along with me. The sensations of this takes the form of them ripping and dragging through the ground only to settle back into the ground for every step taken. They make walking a very odd experience to say the least even after all these years of experiencing them. If I remain in one spot for an extended period of time, my phantom roots “grow” even deeper. Unlike the phantom sensations of many therians, my phantom roots do not move voluntarily, but rather “grow” without any thought from myself. I cannot control them being there nor can I even control what they do. They simply grow and re-grow. So, their presence isn’t as dynamic as some therians’s experience with their phantom limbs, but the nature of my phantom limbs is a part of my everyday life.
Then there is the matter of my phantom branches. Just like my phantom roots they pass through anything that gets in their way. Which feels weird but that feeling seems a better outcome than if my mind had adopted a bend until breaking way of dealing with how my phantom branches react to actual physical things. (My phantom branches can move as if being affected by the wind or whatnot which is something my brain does.) My phantom branches stick out at various angles and come out of my actually body in odd places and they are all located somewhere on either my head, neck, or upper part of the torso. One phantom branch which is about the thickness of my wrist comes out over my right shoulder blade, another that is the thickness of my little finger comes out of my right temple, and others. Each of them complete with smaller branches which lead to twigs which end in leaves. Due to identifying as a southern live oak, a species which does not shed its leaves during winter months, my phantom branches are never without leaves.
Beyond phantom roots and branches I also experiences a few other little things when it comes to phantom limbs. The most notable one being phantom bark. Experiencing phantom bark though is just kind of there for me and because of what phantom bark I experiences moving sometimes is a bit awkward.
Dreams
My average dream is probably rather unusual by most people's standards but for me they seem to suit me and seem very normal from my standpoint. As I’ve mentioned already, by default I tend to take on the form of either an oak or an anthropomorphic (or sometimes zoomorphic) oak-like creature in many dreams. The latter seems to be a reaction to how trees do not really react in a quick and direct fashion as animals do (humans being included, of course). So acting and moving in a more animalistic way allows my dreams to be more dynamic while still reflecting my phytanthropy to an extent. So in some dreams I am an oak but somehow can still see/hear/move/etc, while in other dreams I’m humanoid to some extent or another with tree-like traits, and sometimes a more bestial walking/seeing/etc tree-like creature. The content of my dreams may be related to my species identity or may not be. So some dreams might relate to my identity in some way or the dream may just a “normal” dream but my dream-self happens to reflect how I see myself to an extent. One example of a dream I once had (which I had right after seeing the movie, Avatar), I once dreamed I was human but while interacting with the trees on Pandora I consciously transformed into a large oak trying to save the “Tree of Souls.” In another dream I once had, I dreamed that I as slowly turning into a tree and someone was aiding me into finding a place where I could live out my life. Another dream had it where I was an oak who had learned how I separate myself into a second body which was in the form of a young man which I used to explore a town. In yet another dream I had, I dream that I was human and had been captured by this cult that was planning on sacrificing me to this massive tree man-eating tree, but rather than killing me when I was thrown into its roots the tree saved me due to my being an oak in a human body. To give one final example, I once dreamed I was basically a humanoid with tree-like traits but going through my high school like normal and no one really noticing I wasn’t human. Those are give a few examples of dreams I’ve had which I recall fairly clearly. Those dreams are not unique to the dreams I normally have. Those kinds of dreams are what I normally have. Me having plant-like nature is a very common thing that happens in my dreams regardless of the rest of the themes in my dreams. All this makes a lot of sense to me as, due to my body image being nonhuman, my subconscious would tend to use my body image in my dream a fair bit. Thus leading to a large number of my dreams, no matter the theme of the dream, often having me as plant-like in some respect or another. My identity has just borrowed its way even into my dreams. So my dream are a small part of a number of daily experiences which relate to my identity as a southern live oak.
The Community I Have Grown To
There are several communities out there on the internet for people who identify as nonhuman and a number of these communities have countless places and events online and/or offline dedicated to their own community. There is even a specific community for those people who identify as nonhuman animals. However there is not a specific community for people who identify as plants. There has never been enough plant-identified people around to create one which could remain up and active. In the past, small groups (one forum and a few Livejournal groups, for example) were attempted however none ever gained basically any members due to the rarity of people identify as plants being around in the communities. So in wanting to talk about my experiences and interact with people who do not identify as humans, I‘ve had to join one of the existing otherkin communities.
The community I have become involved in and prefer is the therian community. Though the therian community is based around people who identify as animals, I actually prefer the therian community due to its atmosphere and the discussions that occur there. I’ve personally found that their animality is very similar in many ways to my “plantity” based on how my experiences are actually like many therians in a number of ways. The only difference being species identified and the details on how their species is and acts, which varies a lot anyway due to how different animals themselves are from one another. Even though the therian community is for animal-identified people and I am a plant-identified person, many of the topic points, concerns, ideas in the therian community are relatable and even on par with my own experiences, concerns, and views. With discussions within the therian community often being about day-to-day experiences, talking about how our identities effect other aspects of our daily life, talking about how one knows which species they identify as, among other common topics. All of which I can reply giving my own perspectives and experiences. The multiple system I am a part of has been an active member of the therian community since 2007. I, along with others, prefer the therian community due to finding it most relatable our experiences compared to the atmosphere of other otherkin communities.
I do not as much relate to the general otherkin community. It’s a very broad community with many different kinds of people with many different ways they relate to identifying as nonhuman. It's not so much their experiences are vastly different so much as it is the atmosphere and tone is different than what I have grown accustomed to. I’ve stuck to the therian community for so many years that is has become home to me for my experiences. In the general otherkin community a person is more likely to see topics about mythology, supernatural phenomena, and spiritual beliefs alongside topics directly related to having a species identity such as talking about past lives, phantom limbs, experiences with species dysphoria, and much more. Some topics I can relate to, but others I do not simply due to the diversity of different kinds of otherkin making discussion. Because of this and because I am not as familiar with the general otherkin community, I do not relate to the general otherkin community as much as I do the therian community specifically. So I tend to stick to the therian community as it is the place where I feel my needs are met and I feel the most comfortable around people of similar experiences in many ways.
Effects On My Sexuality
I am an asexual person. Meaning I do not experience any sexual attraction to anyone of any gender. I never have, and likely never will given I am now past my mid-20s and still lack any sexual or romantic feelings for anyone. If this lack of romantic and sexual attraction towards anyone is related to my phytanthropy, I’m not sure. Sometimes I think my species identity might have had some effect on my sexual orientation but that may just be my perception. Given I’ve never identified as human and never felt any sexual attraction, I’ve can’t be sure if one had an effected on the other. This is not to muse that one caused the other by many means, merely that some aspects of one might influence the other in some small ways. There are plenty of people who are asexual who are not otherkin and people who are otherkin who are not asexual. Not seeing myself as human (not including my body, of course) might have an effect on my sexual attraction to humans. Then again it might not.
Effects On My Gender Identity
Gender identity and species identity are two different things. Gender identity is a person’s personal experience and perspective when it comes to their own gender. Species identity deals with a person’s view of themselves as another species internally and personally. So these two things are very different. Over many a year I have heard discussion within the therian community about the differences and sometimes similarities between being transgender and being otherkin from folks who are both, such as myself, and who are comparing and contrasting their own personal experiences with being both. Among those who are experiencing both, sometimes there is even discussion of how these two different experiences are effecting and influencing each other in their own experiences. For myself and my own experiences, I too at times compare and contrast my experiences with my species identity and my gender identity as well as ponder over how they might affect (or perhaps "compliment") one another in small ways. The best way for me to describe my gender identity is non-binary and agender, at least at this point in time. I don’t see myself as either male, female, or a mix of both really. I do not identify with any of the above really. Least that is how I have best come to describe my feelings at this time. I do not particularly relate to the physical traits most often associated with either human males or females. If it were possible, I would be perfectly happy having neither male nor female sexual organs, though if I had to choose between those two I would prefer male over female. Because of this lean toward masculine, I’ve wondered if calling myself “agender” is technically correct. However, that label for my gender identity seems to best sum things up the best out of any I have come across thus far. So whatever label best describes my gender identity, it is certainly rather non-binary in nature. I’m not sure if my species identity and my gender identity are connected in any way at all. Though whether both are caused by something neurological or spiritual, who knows. (Maybe there might be some joint cause in connection with both of them, maybe not.) If my species identity and my gender identity have effected each other that too I do not know. However, I do find something oddly complementary in that I am a southern live oak phytanthrope and a vaguely masculine leaning non-binary person. After all, with my phytanthropy, I feel at odds with much of basic human biology as it feels alien to me even though after all this time. So my gender identity also being at odds with the two usual models of sexual characteristics in humans seems to go along well with my species identity there. So my species dysphoria and gender dysphoria both take issue with certain aspects of my body and do not conflict with one another interestingly enough.
Conclusion
This is a general overview of how my identity is for me and some insight what is like for me as a phytanthrope. This is just how I personally feel. I am a southern live oak phytanthrope. A southern live oak in a human body. I identify as an oak tree on the inside. It might be strange, so be it, but that is how I feel. How I’ve always felt since I can remember. I cannot stop it. I can simply live with it. This article was my attempt at writing down some of my experience I relate to my phytanthropy. How well I succeed in explaining it, well, that I cannot be the judge of it.
- Darahagh
So what is phytanthropy? The bare and basic definition is that it is a state of identifying as a plant on an integral and personal level. A state of being where a person strongly identifies as a plant species in some way. Someone who experiences such a state is called a phytanthrope or plantkin depending on what term the individual prefers to use on their own identity. However this definition, is stark and is merely the outward appearance of this kind of species identification brings with it for the likes such as myself.
In-depth Definition Of Phytanthropy
I am a southern live oak phytanthrope. I am, feel, and believe that I am a southern live oak an integral and personal level. I am, feel, and believe that I am an oak in spirit and mind. This self-identification is a long-term and constant feeling of being nonhuman somehow. I feel that I am an oak some degree (non-physically). This is the state of my identity and my sense of self. I’ve identified this way sense childhood and I see myself as still identifying this way into the foreseeable future. So, for all of my 20+ years of life, I've seen and felt this way to the best I can remember. The way I experience and perceive the world has lead me to consider myself an oak in identity. It's something which persists even after evaluating my experiences and trying to come to other possible conclusions. Something that is always there on some level on a daily basis. Yes it is strange that, regardless of my human body, I identify as a species of tree; yet, I can’t help but see myself as a tree. I know I am human, but I do not personally see myself as such on a non-physical manner of being. I know my body is human but my body image, my idea of myself, and so on - it's not human. I do concede that I am human in body, that I have no illusion whatsoever. I simply feel that I am a plant in a non-physical way. That is what phytanthropy boiled down to. Identity. This identity of mine affects much of my daily life and experiences. Things like sensations, thoughts, and a number of other things going on within the mind of the individual. Yet it all ends up combining into an identity that says this what they are even if it does not match with the body at all.
Like other kinds of otherkin (such as therians among others), I experience things along the lines of phantom sensations of nonhuman characteristics (in my case features such as roots, bark, stems/branches, etc), mindsets and viewpoints that are attributed to certain nonhuman species (in my case thoughts one might associate with being plant-like), having dreams about being or related closely to a nonhuman identity, dysphoria over aspects of the human body and feeling aspects of another species (in my case southern live oak) to being more appropriate, a persistent feeling of being a nonhuman species, etc. The only real differences between plant-identified people and nonhuman-identified people in general is the plant focus rather than another kind of nonhuman creature. That is my identity in a nutshell.
Where The Terms Came From
Plantkin is a portmanteau of “plant” and “otherkin” and thus is constructed the same way as many other subsets of otherkin such as angelkin and faekin have been coined. (The word otherkin itself is a portmanteau of the words “other” and “kin[d].”) The term plantkin came about back in 2003 (along with term “greenkin” to mean the same thing). Phytanthropy comes from the Greek word phyton meaning “plant” and the Greek word anthropoe meaning “human/man.” The term is not an old one as far as I am aware. I coined the term for myself in February 2013 on the therian forum, Werelist. It is a term constructed similar to the term therianthropy which comes from the Greek words for beast and human. Due to being active in the therian community, phytanthrope is what I use primarily for myself, but will use plantkin on occasion. Other terms which I have heard other plant-identified people use over the years include weretree, greenkin, and woodkin though I’ve never used any of these terms myself. Nevertheless to use an ironically adequate, if not generally overused quote, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Regardless of what terms I use, I am a person who identifies as a plant.
My Cause
Primarily, I see the cause of my identity and experiences to be spiritual in their origin yet also feel that there are psychological and perhaps even neurological components at work within me as well. I also can easily entertain the possibility that spiritual causes are not the main cause of my phytanthropy at all and it is mainly psychological and/or neurological in cause. After all, while I do tend to have a spiritual outlook to my identity and my experiences I am not opposed to the idea of there being more of a psychological and/or neurological basis for my identity and experiences than I perceive it to be. However, my natural viewpoint is of a spiritual nature, whether that be the actual cause or not. I feel that my soul is that of an oak as much as a soul can have a species. I also believe I was an oak in a past life, and that past life still effects me today by way of my soul still being inclined to the nature of being an oak. Whether it is spiritual, psychological, neurological and/or something other than those, it does not change what I feel and how I live now. In the grant scheme of things, I do not feel that the cause of my phytanthropy is that important to me now. How my phytanthropy effects me in present day to day life is more important. This is how I am personally and whatever happened to cause my identification as an oak has happened and is in the past.
I Know I Am Human
I know very well that I am human. I know all too well that I am actually perfectly, without a shred of doubt, physically human. I am constantly reminded of that fact. I certainly have no illusions of having actual roots, leaves, bark and all of the sort. Yet, that does not stop me from being this way. Identity and body image need not does not inhibit the personal perception and feelings I have that makes me feel not as human personally. The weight of that reality does not change the fact that I do not personally feel human. How I see myself, how I feel - isn’t limited to the physical reality of my body. Since I can remember I have told myself that I human while trying to suppress the feelings about my species identity, but it has never worked. Reminding myself I am human physically has not swayed this uncontrollable and unyielding feeling in me that tells me something else is the case non-physically. Identity does not always adhere to what is physically and externally the case. I know I am human, I just don’t identify as such personally. I know what I am externally and within myself and know they differ.
Not Separate From Myself
Phytanthropy is not caused by any external force. It is not "totemism," some sort of spirit possession, or anything of the sort. I do not refer to my species identity as a separate being because it is not so. My phytanthropy is not something that is separate from me. An oak is what I am, and I am an oak. This is not something like having a spirit guide, a totem, or anything else where there is an external entity involved. I do not feel like my being a plant is anything external. I do not feel like I'm being guided by a spirit or being contacted by an external force or being which has a tree nature. No. This is me. This is my identity. I am the one who feels this way. These are my experiences. I am the one experiencing phytanthropy. It is I who does not identify as human (in a non-physical level). It is on me. This identification is a part of me, not apart from me. This is not a separate entity either outside of me or within me, it is just me. I am a person who sees myself as an oak.
The word “connection” or simply “identification with” also does not adequately describe my experiences. People can have connections with many things yet not actually identify as it. Not actually be it, in a sense. Many people can really identify with something or someone yet not actually identify as it. A fair number of pagans or nature-centered spiritual people might connect with plants, but that is not the same as them actually feeling as though they are a plant in some internal and personal manner. That is what phytanthropy is. I do not simply connect with plants. I identify as one in a non-physical way.
Lack Of Terms Of Being Plant-like
One difficultly with describing phyanthropy is that the English language lacks many words which relate to the nature of being like a plant. In absence of words, I’ve come to coin my own words over time. First there is the word, “plantity” which means to have a quality or nature associated with plants. Another is “plantistic” which means of, relating to, or resembling an plant or plants.
Defining Planity
Phytanthropy is plantity. Plant-people. Plants do not think, they simply do. Plants grow their roots down into the Earth and the branches up toward the Sun. Plants take in sunlight in their leaves and nutrients through their roots. That in essence is what plantity means. It's being straightforward in existence. The plantistic part of my brain is very simple, limited in lofty and critical thought. It's all about present. It's being Earth bound, present bound. Centered in the physical, and beyond the complexities of higher thinking. In this state, things like language, culture, and history are beyond thought. It's about here and now. The world and reaction to it. Plantity is primal. It is uncivilized and uncultured. Its wild and being part of that wild. It's the deepest, most basic, most intuitive and innate natures and needs brought forth. It is the core which drives them in response to the world around them. That plantity is expressed through the human body, intellect, and how one responds to the world. Phytanthropy is plantity. It is a state of being.
My Childhood
For as long as I can remember anything at all, I haven’t quite felt human and instead I have identified as an oak. I never went through what some in the otherkin communities call an “awakening.” I did not find myself coming to the sudden conclusion that I as nonhuman in some way and that someway was specially of an oak nature. It wasn’t even a gradual experience over years either. No. For me, I cannot remember a time when I did not feel this way. I simply have always saw myself as an oak since at least my childhood years, and it is an identification which has continued to exist. I honestly cannot remember a time when I did not identify this way even if words to describe it where beyond me. I might not have had a term to describe my experiences and my feelings, but they were still there. Throughout my childhood it was a conclusion based on what was being felt and thought. I grappled with ways to describe it at first, but as I got older it became easier and my way of describing how I felt became more in-depth. I struggled with trying to understand why and questioned my sanity a lot growing up. I wondered why I both felt a connection to trees and felt like I was in some way one of "their kind" so to speak. I did not have to concern myself during my teenage years with doubts of it being a passing phase due it already being an on-going identification. Instead, I only mused over how I could be this way and why I was this way. Now that I am well into my adult years, the concept of doubt isn’t even something that crosses my mind really. So, to the best of my earliest memories I had always felt like an oak (and see myself still feeling so into the foreseeable future). The only discovery that occurred related to my identity was discovering I was not alone in not feeling nonhuman and discovering words to describe my identification as nonhuman. That discovery took some time.
Discovering The Community
I discovered the term “were” first back in the early 2000s in due credit to a documentary which interviewed someone who identified as a coyote. "Were" being the alternative to the term therian at the time the documentary was created. Finding the term and hearing someone else talking about their experiences affirmed that there were people who also felt like they were some non-human species. Yet, they were only animals that I saw being talked about. A few years later, in 2006, I discovered the term therian as well. Then a short time later, finally, I discovered the term plantkin. From then on I began to find words to describe my experiences and where I could not find adequate words, I coined a few of my own over the years. I would later choose the term phytanthrope for myself rather than plantkin.
Not a Choice
Being a phytanthrope is not something can be turned on and off. It's not a choice to identify this way. Either someone identifies as a plant, or they do not. It's there, whether someone wants to be there or not. It's just a fact of how one identifies. This is how I identify. It's just there. This is an innate and unwavering understanding that I am somehow a plant. It does not disappear when suddenly having the identity or feeling this way is inconvenient. It's there no matter what. Experiencing the things I attribute to being a phytanthrope (my phantom sensations, my dysphoria, etc) are also not a choice. (Honestly, I would be ecstatic if I could choose when and where I had such experiences.) I connect just push aside or ignore my phytanthropy. It is not something I have chosen. It's not something I would have chosen, honestly. The only thing which was a choice was what I called my experiences. Deciding what labels fit me and choosing which to use or not. I could not simply stop my identification nor stop my experiences. They are there whether I accept them or not. Denying myself and my feelings would be a losing battle. I've tried it several times over the decades now. I cannot simply ignore and suppress the constant feeling that my body should be one way yet it is another. I cannot ignore the thoughts in my mind telling me I should have the traits of a tree. Dissociating from the bizarre dysphoria does not make it go away.
Species Dysphoria
Species dysphoria is when someone experience a feeling of discontent, discomfort, discontentment, restlessness, dissatisfaction, depression, and/or anxiety over their species. A feeling that one's body is of the wrong species. My personal species dysphoria is a constant feeling. There is always this feeling, this constant prodding in my head that screams that this isn’t right. This is not what an oak does. A vine of thought growing through me saying this action is strange. Some days it is more there than others. Sometimes I just randomly go through a phase of greater dysphoria and sometimes something sets it off. Even things such as eating and speaking can trigger the dysphoria that much more. Sometimes it can be as mundane as walking. I think twice and feel out-of-place in my body and my surroundings. My phantom roots often does not help ease the sense of discomfort and strangeness of it all. The simplest of things can cause it come swelling up. Sometimes it happens if I think too much about the fact I identify as one thing but am another. If I think to much about it, the feeling creeps up even stronger. The mental weight bares down harder. Going day to day in an ill-fitting body. There are many things which I enjoy which I could not do so if I was not human; if I was actually an oak. I do enjoy so much about my life. That, however, does not mean the dysphoria is not there. The dysphoria does not simply go away. Sometimes it gets so bad I want to shed my humanity and be an oak, even if that means giving up my sentiency and ability to move. Sometimes I just wish so dearly I could feel right in my body for once somehow. I take care of my human body, yet at the same time I do not care for it all. I live in the body I have, but that does not mean it is a “home,” so to speak. This body is not me. Being an oak, yet not being an oak physically; being physically human, yet not being a human truthfully. That is species dysphoria in a sense. I manage the worse days and the better ones.
My Functionality
My experiences as a phytanthrope does not hinder my functionality. My dysphoria related to my species does cause me some distress emotionally and mentality, yes; however, my phytanthropy as a whole does not impair my social skills, occupational skills, or other important areas of functioning in daily life. I do not consider my phytanthropy itself a disorder. My species dysphoria does cause issues in my life, but my species dysphoria is only a small part my experiences which relates to my being a phytanthrope. I am able to hold down a job, pay my bills, keep up a healthy social life, and overall function well in society. My identifying as a southern live hinders none of that. Further, there is no treatment known for species dysphoria due it only being mentioned in passing here and there in academia with no in-depth studies on it yet let alone ways of managing it professionally. The mental health professionals our multiple system has talked to do not find our species identities disorderly, and due to lack of research on treating and/or managing species dysphoria they can only give so much advise. Regardless of my species dysphoria and having to deal with it on my own I am still a functional and responsible adult. I am dealing with and managing my species dysphoria as best I can as that is all that I can do. Yes, I have had to adjust to certain things, but it has not hindered me from leading a productive life. Being a phytanthrope does not separate me from human society. I know I am physically human and I know that I must live and act human. Knowing that, accepting that, living that, doesn't stop what does on within me, how I feel, what I feel though.
I Don’t See Myself as Human
I can’t imagine myself as human when I think of how I see me. I am acutely aware of my physical appearance, but my physical appearance is not what comes to my mind when I think of how I personally see and think of myself. When I think of how I see my self-image, it is not of a human at all. When I think of how I see myself, I simply see a tree, and specifically a southern live oak. It's a little difficult to explain having a self image other then how open body looks to someone whose body image matches their body. It's hard to explain how it is to have a feeling of seeing yourself differently than how one is, and even harder to explain when that self-image being an oak of all things. My self-image, how I see/think of myself - isn't human and it never has been.
Figuring Out My Species
Figuring out my exact species was done through paying attention my self-image, how I appeared in our multiple system’s innerworld, the shape of my phantom body, the things my species dysphoria point toward, my form in many dreams over my life, etc to use as reference. Different species of tree have different traits such as the shape of their leaves among others. To come to my conclusion, I used how I felt and what I experienced. These experiences over my life up until now are what helps affirm my species identity time and time again.
In my earliest memories I already knew that I identified as a tree of some sort. The images in my mind and the feelings I had said “tree” very strongly even when still a child. A thick truck and many sturdy roots and branches. Having broad-leaves as phantom sensations and so on scratched several kinds of trees off the list (such as conifers) fairly easily early on. By at least the age of 12 I knew I identified as specifically as some kind of oak. I had noticed I experienced things which pointed to the germination of acorns, but still wasn’t sure down to an exact species. I was also just drawn to oaks due to a feeling of “I am one of them” to an extent. Sadly beyond those reasons I’ve forgotten what originally brought me to the relations of being an oak compared to another kind of tree. One of the hazards of something happening so many years ago, is that thoughts and reasoning back then have faded from memory. So I can no longer recall the details from back then.
Then when we were 14, our multiple system went on vacation with family in San Antonio, Texas. One of the places we went to included a Spanish mission near the city that had been turned into a national historical park. On the grounds of the site was a large southern live oak. Chancing across that old oak allowed me a chance to compare traits in a way I hadn’t been excepting or really looking for at that point in my life. I hadn’t been excepting to come across a real life oak which would help me narrow down my identity from “some kind of oak” to (in time) an exact species of oak. Yet there I was, noticing similarities between a real-life tree and the traits distinguished in my experiences. My image as an oak was smaller than the southern live oak I had come across, which makes sense given how old they were.
After meeting that oak and returning home I began to read more about different kinds of oak. From there I noticed a very telling trait among some species of oak which confirmed to me that I was on the right path. Some oaks are “evergreen,” never losing their leaves annually like other oaks and many other broad-leaf trees. This was well matched by my experiences as I had never experienced or felt any sort of hibernation or slowing down during the colder and darker period of the year. I never lost any feeling of phantom leaves even during that time, and my mental image of myself never changed around the time. I was an oak which was “evergreen.” This lead me to conclude I was indeed some kind of live oak at the very least if not a southern live oak. However after confirming that I narrowed down once again on southern live oaks. Remembering what I could of seeing the southern live oak in real-life as well as reading about them and their traits. So by around the age of 16, I considered my species identity to be that of a southern live oak.
My Appearance As a Tree
As I've mentioned several times already, I have a very specific image of how I view myself due to having a body within our system's innerworld as well as just having a mental image of how I see myself in my own mind. My height from ground to my crown is about 40 to 50 feet. The spread of my limbs is about 90 feet all around. My truck has the circumstance of about 10 feet. My truck quickly splits into several boughs which spread outward far more then they rise upward, as they remain relatively low to the ground. Some even come even closer to the ground. The branches coming off my boughs are countless and go in every which direction. My leaves are broad and roughly oval in shape. My root system is very spread out and deep. This is how I appear in our system's innerworld, how I see myself in my mind's eye, and so on. These traits match the species southern live oak.
No Shifts Constant Experiences
As I have mentioned here and there thus far, I experience various things on a regular basis in my daily life which relate back to my species identity. My species identity effects and influences me in various unconscious and uncountable ways. As I’ve said before, my experiences are constant daily life for me. My phytanthropy is always there. The term "shifting" in the otherkin communities denotes any change in how an otherkin feels, thinks, or otherwise experiences themselves and the world around them, going from a more human-like state to an nonhuman-like one in some sense. Certain shifts include changes in one’s mentality, perception, or behavior (mental shifts), and changes in how one feels their own body by way of what is and is not there (phantom shifts), among kinds of shift. Some otherkin experience their nonhuman identity at certain period of time which can last at any given length depending upon the individual, while others do not experience shifts at all. Some simply experience their nonhuman identity constantly rather than at certain times. I do not experience what are commonly referred to as “shifts” at all. Instead, my experiences are of a constant nature. I do not experience any changes such as what the term shifting denotes in the therian community. My identity and my mentality is a daily experience for me down to every moment of the day. Mentality and phantom limbs do not come and go for me. Instead, they are a constant fixture of my life. They do not come and go. There isn’t even any fluctuations to it. The intensity of my “plantity” doesn’t intensify or diminish in any way throughout daily life. It just is. It is an unchanging aspect of my mentality and my perceptions. My mental state has a constant air of plantity to it, or at least there is a constant trend of what I personally describe as such persisting in my thoughts and inclinations. This is how my mind naturally is for me with my phytanthropy constantly there and effecting me. So I don’t feel “less tree-like” sometimes and other times feel “more tree-like.” So, I am like a contherianthrope but instead of being a therian I am a phytanthrope.
Mentality
The mentality that I have which I relate to being a phytanthrope is interesting to attempt to describe. When people think of plants they do not often think of them as having behaviors. (The use of the word “behavior” when discussing how plants react to the world around them is debatable, but as I am human physically I certainly do have behaviors and thus will be using the word to describe myself.) Many people do not even consider the idea of a plant actively doing much of anything. Plants do not act like animals because they are not animals; however they do react to the world around them in their own ways. It's easy to observe animals; however, plants react on a much slower scale and in less obvious ways. There has been much research into how plant-life live and react to the world around them, yet still the nature of plants is still being uncovered by science. This leaves myself in an interesting position.
I am human, yet I identify as something fundamentally very different from human. I identify as a tree, but I cannot literally act and “think” like a tree anymore than a slug therian can literally act and “think” like a slug. So the behaviors, thoughts, and the like which we have that we attribute to our species identity is what our brain have associated with that mindset. We interpret our behaviors, thoughts, and so on that we to what certain species do and how they act. How I act as a person is “read” as being tree-like as far as my mind is concerned. I identify as a phytanthrope because my mind interprets my very existence and experiences as such. Certain aspects of my thoughts and reactions are interpreted a certain way and this interpretation is further bolstered by what information I gain about trees and certainly southern live oaks specifically. So this is how I as a phytanthropy can have a certain mentality that I can’t help but see as tree-like.
One thing I often associate with my phytanthropy is that I tend to go through life finding certain common human assumptions and concepts to be alien, if not even almost silly to me. A lot of human concepts don’t make sense to me. Even though I am now well into my adulthood, there are still certain things about the mindset of society in general which I do not hold to an extent or don't come naturally to me. It's just a simple matter of fact that many human concepts and emotions have always tended to make little to no sense to me. For example, I don't underhand the concept money personally. I mean, I understand it on a knowledge level and how to properly handle my own finances, yet I don't quiet grasp the importance of having it just to have it. I take good care of my personal finances because I need it to survive, but I lack a desire to own things just for owning sake. That is how many things are for me. I know the concept of economics and so on well (enough to function quiet comfortably).
Another thing which doesn't come to me naturally is that a number of quirks of human behavior in factual expressions do not occur instinctively to me. Not in a society awkward way (least not that I am aware of or anyone has ever brought up anyway) it's just that many factual expressions just don’t naturally come to me. So a fair amount of time my face is perfectly relaxed no matter what my mood is. Sometimes I think this makes me come off cold and unattached to others until they get to know me. Plus, this can sometimes lead to people being unsure of my mood. I also don’t look people in the eye or even at them in general when speaking to them. It just does come naturally to look straight at people for long, and I actually tend to avoid eye contact all together much of the time. This sometimes leads to people mistaking my mood even more if they are not familiar of me. So sometimes people think I am angry when I‘m actually perfectly happy or people thinking I‘m not listening when I am actually being very attentive to what they are saying. I just don’t naturally smile when I am actually very happy or even frown when I am sad. My natural expression is more of a resting and neutral face no matter what I am thinking or feeling. Body language as far as posture and gestures are also not very instinctive for me, though it is not nearly as greatly effected as how factual expressions is affected. I have had to teach myself how to better read people, due to it being something I could not read properly or at all growing up.
The ability to speak also boggles me. Speech itself sometimes feels odd to me. In the best of times, speaking itself can sometimes give me pause - a moment of my identification as an oak conflicting with my human body leading to a curious passing feeling at times or a bit of dysphoria at other times. It's really fascinating really the nature of being able to use language. It doesn't seem most people stop and think about, yet I do fairly often. However, other times speaking seems unusual and too alien for me.
Similar to my odd feelings at times around speaking, this alien-ness also affect how I experiences my senses. Trees do not have senses such as sight, hearing, and so on obviously. Plants lack such ways of sensing the world around them. This makes my experiences with having these and other senses unusual for me in relation to my phytanthropy. My own senses feel somewhat foreign to me in a way. To an extent, experiencing hearing, sight, smell, and taste can be rather strange and overwhelming at times. Sometimes I do not know what to think of or do with these experiences coming in to my mind. I will suddenly find myself thinking of how amazing it is to see, or find myself finding the ability to smell newly overwhelming. My mind will suddenly focus on a sense and compare the reality of my body to what is in my mind, catching me off guard. Sometimes this leads to me feel overwhelmed by things around me. Loud noises, bright lights, or other sudden or extreme sensations coming in will be too much for me a lot of the time, and I prefer to avoid things of that nature as best I can.
Throughout the whole life a tree, they do not move from their place. (Least not without outside forces moving them anyway.) The ability to wander is something animals (well most animals) have at their disposal. For a tree, the part of them that move on their own are their roots and the branches as they grow, which happens very slowly. Yet, here I am identifying as a tree even though I am human and have the ability to move about of my own free will. Due to this disparity, my species identity effects how I react to my innate ability to move about. Motion is hardwired into the human body. It hardly requires any conscious thought at all. This has always astounded me personally in a way. Sometimes I find the very act of moving very foreign even, and not just in one way verses another. It matters not if it is upright on two legs, swimming, climbing, or walking on all fours - none of it feels wholly natural to my mind. The idea of movement, not to mention the existence of moveable at will limbs at all sometimes comes across as confusing and alien despite using the body and its limbs accordingly since birth many years ago. It simply is to me deep down. Externally I act normal but internally my thoughts are reacting to it as if it were not normal. My body can and will react normally even if my thoughts are feeling out of place. These feelings simply play out in my mind.
Unsurprisingly based on how physical motion feels odd to me, I am quite the homebody. I do not see this preference of mine as being actually connected to my phytanthropy, but it does seem to ironically compliment it in a strange way. I don’t care for traveling as it breaks to me out of a daily route which I enjoy. I have also had little desire to wander far in where I live over my life thus far. I have lived in the same city as I was born into all my life and every place I have lived thus far fits within a 5 mile radius of each other. I simply have little to no desire to leave my familiar surroundings. I enjoy the consistency and familiarity that living in one place provides. I am not a wanderer nor am I someone that loves to travel. I don't quite understand the draw some people have toward adventure. That is just me, and it seems to compliment my phytanthropy ironically enough or not.
It seems so stereotypical, but yet I do have certain inclination in relation to the earth. I do what I can to keep my feet on the ground. I simply feel better having at least one if not both my feet firmly resting on solid ground. If I am sitting in a chair, I prefer to have my feet be able to touch the floor. Even while laying in bed, it's not uncommon for me to sleep with one of my legs off the bed and touching the floor ( less its chilly). I have these thoughts and do these things without thinking about them. So these feelings translates into a compulsion to want to be near the ground for comfort sake. It's just a simple quirk I have which I relate to my phytanthropy.
Another thing which seems so stereotypical yet is the case for me is how I react to and am drawn to light. What I can best describe as my instincts crave for the light. It's hard to describe how I feel exactly about my reaction to sunlight. I enjoy being out during the day and that is when I find myself most active. I’ve never been a night person or one to stay up late into the night. It's just a little quirk of mine that I connect to my phytanthropy.
It would be erroneous to say that my phytanthropy was connected to any instinct or inclination toward the act of eating. At least, not connected to the literal act of eating anyway. Unlike therians who sometimes have some instinct toward hunting or grazing, oaks do not eat. A plant's means of obtaining energy to sustain life is a different system than that of animals. Oaks obtain their "food" from sunlight coupled with the water and other nutrients from the soil. That system of obtaining energy doesn't translate well into something the human mind can mimic in some fashion due to identifications as that species. The only real proper connection between my phytanthropy and our system's body's need food is what my phantom sensations do when our body is hungry. When our body is hungry my phantom roots tend to “grow more” than unusual and my phantom branches tend to be more noticeably there in my awareness of them. This makes sense to me as its through their roots and branches that oaks get energy. Feeling my phantom limbs so strongly seems to be the closest thing my mind can come up with in connecting a human need with how plants act (sort of). After all, plants do not just randomly grow. Their roots seek out water and nutrients, growing more where there is the most pay-off and not wasting as much energy where there is none found. Their branches will grow up and around toward the sun, seeking out where light can be found. Like an animal foraging for food, a trees roots will grow outward in search for nutrients but once nutrients are found the root will stop growing as quickly to take in the nutrients. Only once the source has been take in, will the root pick back its pace. So perhaps how my mind handles my phantom limbs is an attempt to copy that as best can manage.
I'm sure there are more examples, but they allude me. I often can't find the words to describe what I think or feel. I guess that's another example of my mentality seems to work as well as something I tend to connect to my phytanthropy. My phytanthropy is based around feelings and experiences which are often hard to put into words. My identification and experiences tends to seem to defy normal words and thoughts. These are just a few examples of things that are a part of my phytanthropy which I relate to my phytanthropy.
Phantom Limbs
A fairly common experience among people who do not identify as human is the presence of feeling limbs or other traits on the body which are not actually there at all. It's something neurological more than likely, given how studies show how easily the brain can be tricked into sensing and feeling things which aren’t there and never were, such as the rubber hand illusion making everyday people quickly come to feel a fake arm as their own. Though some spiritual inclined otherkin might see it as being caused somehow by the shape of their aura or soul. As far as I think when it come to my experiences, I feel that its likely my identification has convinced my brain that there are parts of my body that exist even if in reality they do not exist in the flesh. So I think that before I was even in pre-teens, my brain adopted features which are associated with trees into my body schema, leading me to involuntary feel traits on my body that are not there.
Feeling phantom sensations upon my body is a daily experience for me. They are there no matter what the circumstance and no matter how much they might hinder me. Whether it is at work, relaxing at home, or any place else - they are ever present. They are even there whether I consciously think about them or not. From my working moments until sleep takes me I am stuck with them. I know that they are not physically there and cannot see them, but I feel them nonetheless. I have experienced them ever since I can remember. They have stuck around for years and years, and so I highly suspect I will be stuck with them for years to come at the very least.
As an southern live oak phytanthrope, my phantom roots are my most notable experiences as far as my phantom experiences. When standing or sitting with my feet on or near the ground, my phantom roots are based from my feet. When laying down or sitting with my feet mostly level with my butt, my phantom roots are based from my tailbone. As they are constantly there, they have to move somehow along with me. The sensations of this takes the form of them ripping and dragging through the ground only to settle back into the ground for every step taken. They make walking a very odd experience to say the least even after all these years of experiencing them. If I remain in one spot for an extended period of time, my phantom roots “grow” even deeper. Unlike the phantom sensations of many therians, my phantom roots do not move voluntarily, but rather “grow” without any thought from myself. I cannot control them being there nor can I even control what they do. They simply grow and re-grow. So, their presence isn’t as dynamic as some therians’s experience with their phantom limbs, but the nature of my phantom limbs is a part of my everyday life.
Then there is the matter of my phantom branches. Just like my phantom roots they pass through anything that gets in their way. Which feels weird but that feeling seems a better outcome than if my mind had adopted a bend until breaking way of dealing with how my phantom branches react to actual physical things. (My phantom branches can move as if being affected by the wind or whatnot which is something my brain does.) My phantom branches stick out at various angles and come out of my actually body in odd places and they are all located somewhere on either my head, neck, or upper part of the torso. One phantom branch which is about the thickness of my wrist comes out over my right shoulder blade, another that is the thickness of my little finger comes out of my right temple, and others. Each of them complete with smaller branches which lead to twigs which end in leaves. Due to identifying as a southern live oak, a species which does not shed its leaves during winter months, my phantom branches are never without leaves.
Beyond phantom roots and branches I also experiences a few other little things when it comes to phantom limbs. The most notable one being phantom bark. Experiencing phantom bark though is just kind of there for me and because of what phantom bark I experiences moving sometimes is a bit awkward.
Dreams
My average dream is probably rather unusual by most people's standards but for me they seem to suit me and seem very normal from my standpoint. As I’ve mentioned already, by default I tend to take on the form of either an oak or an anthropomorphic (or sometimes zoomorphic) oak-like creature in many dreams. The latter seems to be a reaction to how trees do not really react in a quick and direct fashion as animals do (humans being included, of course). So acting and moving in a more animalistic way allows my dreams to be more dynamic while still reflecting my phytanthropy to an extent. So in some dreams I am an oak but somehow can still see/hear/move/etc, while in other dreams I’m humanoid to some extent or another with tree-like traits, and sometimes a more bestial walking/seeing/etc tree-like creature. The content of my dreams may be related to my species identity or may not be. So some dreams might relate to my identity in some way or the dream may just a “normal” dream but my dream-self happens to reflect how I see myself to an extent. One example of a dream I once had (which I had right after seeing the movie, Avatar), I once dreamed I was human but while interacting with the trees on Pandora I consciously transformed into a large oak trying to save the “Tree of Souls.” In another dream I once had, I dreamed that I as slowly turning into a tree and someone was aiding me into finding a place where I could live out my life. Another dream had it where I was an oak who had learned how I separate myself into a second body which was in the form of a young man which I used to explore a town. In yet another dream I had, I dream that I was human and had been captured by this cult that was planning on sacrificing me to this massive tree man-eating tree, but rather than killing me when I was thrown into its roots the tree saved me due to my being an oak in a human body. To give one final example, I once dreamed I was basically a humanoid with tree-like traits but going through my high school like normal and no one really noticing I wasn’t human. Those are give a few examples of dreams I’ve had which I recall fairly clearly. Those dreams are not unique to the dreams I normally have. Those kinds of dreams are what I normally have. Me having plant-like nature is a very common thing that happens in my dreams regardless of the rest of the themes in my dreams. All this makes a lot of sense to me as, due to my body image being nonhuman, my subconscious would tend to use my body image in my dream a fair bit. Thus leading to a large number of my dreams, no matter the theme of the dream, often having me as plant-like in some respect or another. My identity has just borrowed its way even into my dreams. So my dream are a small part of a number of daily experiences which relate to my identity as a southern live oak.
The Community I Have Grown To
There are several communities out there on the internet for people who identify as nonhuman and a number of these communities have countless places and events online and/or offline dedicated to their own community. There is even a specific community for those people who identify as nonhuman animals. However there is not a specific community for people who identify as plants. There has never been enough plant-identified people around to create one which could remain up and active. In the past, small groups (one forum and a few Livejournal groups, for example) were attempted however none ever gained basically any members due to the rarity of people identify as plants being around in the communities. So in wanting to talk about my experiences and interact with people who do not identify as humans, I‘ve had to join one of the existing otherkin communities.
The community I have become involved in and prefer is the therian community. Though the therian community is based around people who identify as animals, I actually prefer the therian community due to its atmosphere and the discussions that occur there. I’ve personally found that their animality is very similar in many ways to my “plantity” based on how my experiences are actually like many therians in a number of ways. The only difference being species identified and the details on how their species is and acts, which varies a lot anyway due to how different animals themselves are from one another. Even though the therian community is for animal-identified people and I am a plant-identified person, many of the topic points, concerns, ideas in the therian community are relatable and even on par with my own experiences, concerns, and views. With discussions within the therian community often being about day-to-day experiences, talking about how our identities effect other aspects of our daily life, talking about how one knows which species they identify as, among other common topics. All of which I can reply giving my own perspectives and experiences. The multiple system I am a part of has been an active member of the therian community since 2007. I, along with others, prefer the therian community due to finding it most relatable our experiences compared to the atmosphere of other otherkin communities.
I do not as much relate to the general otherkin community. It’s a very broad community with many different kinds of people with many different ways they relate to identifying as nonhuman. It's not so much their experiences are vastly different so much as it is the atmosphere and tone is different than what I have grown accustomed to. I’ve stuck to the therian community for so many years that is has become home to me for my experiences. In the general otherkin community a person is more likely to see topics about mythology, supernatural phenomena, and spiritual beliefs alongside topics directly related to having a species identity such as talking about past lives, phantom limbs, experiences with species dysphoria, and much more. Some topics I can relate to, but others I do not simply due to the diversity of different kinds of otherkin making discussion. Because of this and because I am not as familiar with the general otherkin community, I do not relate to the general otherkin community as much as I do the therian community specifically. So I tend to stick to the therian community as it is the place where I feel my needs are met and I feel the most comfortable around people of similar experiences in many ways.
Effects On My Sexuality
I am an asexual person. Meaning I do not experience any sexual attraction to anyone of any gender. I never have, and likely never will given I am now past my mid-20s and still lack any sexual or romantic feelings for anyone. If this lack of romantic and sexual attraction towards anyone is related to my phytanthropy, I’m not sure. Sometimes I think my species identity might have had some effect on my sexual orientation but that may just be my perception. Given I’ve never identified as human and never felt any sexual attraction, I’ve can’t be sure if one had an effected on the other. This is not to muse that one caused the other by many means, merely that some aspects of one might influence the other in some small ways. There are plenty of people who are asexual who are not otherkin and people who are otherkin who are not asexual. Not seeing myself as human (not including my body, of course) might have an effect on my sexual attraction to humans. Then again it might not.
Effects On My Gender Identity
Gender identity and species identity are two different things. Gender identity is a person’s personal experience and perspective when it comes to their own gender. Species identity deals with a person’s view of themselves as another species internally and personally. So these two things are very different. Over many a year I have heard discussion within the therian community about the differences and sometimes similarities between being transgender and being otherkin from folks who are both, such as myself, and who are comparing and contrasting their own personal experiences with being both. Among those who are experiencing both, sometimes there is even discussion of how these two different experiences are effecting and influencing each other in their own experiences. For myself and my own experiences, I too at times compare and contrast my experiences with my species identity and my gender identity as well as ponder over how they might affect (or perhaps "compliment") one another in small ways. The best way for me to describe my gender identity is non-binary and agender, at least at this point in time. I don’t see myself as either male, female, or a mix of both really. I do not identify with any of the above really. Least that is how I have best come to describe my feelings at this time. I do not particularly relate to the physical traits most often associated with either human males or females. If it were possible, I would be perfectly happy having neither male nor female sexual organs, though if I had to choose between those two I would prefer male over female. Because of this lean toward masculine, I’ve wondered if calling myself “agender” is technically correct. However, that label for my gender identity seems to best sum things up the best out of any I have come across thus far. So whatever label best describes my gender identity, it is certainly rather non-binary in nature. I’m not sure if my species identity and my gender identity are connected in any way at all. Though whether both are caused by something neurological or spiritual, who knows. (Maybe there might be some joint cause in connection with both of them, maybe not.) If my species identity and my gender identity have effected each other that too I do not know. However, I do find something oddly complementary in that I am a southern live oak phytanthrope and a vaguely masculine leaning non-binary person. After all, with my phytanthropy, I feel at odds with much of basic human biology as it feels alien to me even though after all this time. So my gender identity also being at odds with the two usual models of sexual characteristics in humans seems to go along well with my species identity there. So my species dysphoria and gender dysphoria both take issue with certain aspects of my body and do not conflict with one another interestingly enough.
Conclusion
This is a general overview of how my identity is for me and some insight what is like for me as a phytanthrope. This is just how I personally feel. I am a southern live oak phytanthrope. A southern live oak in a human body. I identify as an oak tree on the inside. It might be strange, so be it, but that is how I feel. How I’ve always felt since I can remember. I cannot stop it. I can simply live with it. This article was my attempt at writing down some of my experience I relate to my phytanthropy. How well I succeed in explaining it, well, that I cannot be the judge of it.
- Darahagh